玩不起火就不要玩火 November 23, 2009
Posted by aquarhine in Hello World.add a comment
《蜗居》看完以后很有感慨。其实还是喜欢小贝的。我说我喜欢小贝，朋友说最可怜的那个，我有些不悦，怎么就是最可怜的那个了。如果说受伤害的，我觉得海藻、 宋和宋太受到的伤害要远大于小贝。海藻和宋的伤害是因为玩火过头了。其实宋太在我看来倒是受伤害最重的，没做什么错事，什么都为丈夫着想，为丈夫仕途考虑 勤俭节约，最终在看到海藻奢华的欧式大房子以后彻底崩溃。小贝虽然也受到了很大的伤害，但是相比起来他提早离开这纠缠不轻的一切也未尝不是一种解脱，剧集 最后小贝又有了新的女朋友，开始了一段新的生活。而海藻，尽管与宋有过一段很快乐的生活，但是最终却不得不生活在被抛弃的怀疑、不安、焦虑、悲伤之中不可 自拔，因为她的幸福已经完全系于那个男人身上了，而那个男人注定不属于，至少不完全属于自己。剧中说，回顾以往，除了那些隽永的床第之欢以外，还剩下了什 么。
我觉得女生或多或少都有一种被保护的心态，如果有一个超人出现，又帅又有钱又能摆平一切又温柔又体贴又看似对你一往情深（男人这点极其不可 靠，他们觉得他们太了解女生了，所以可以猜透女生的心思和所预期的一切反应，然后没兴趣了便甩甩衣袖，一切都归之于“你会错意了”，然后全身而退，空留女 生在那边悲伤成河），女生很难有不动心的想法，每个女生心里都有做公主的情结。BUT，如果女生任由这种公主情结而左右了自己的行事，那么到头来只会 learn the society the hard way.
西方里有个词叫temptation.其实很难讲我们每个人永远都不会受到诱惑。我们在某个阶段都或多或少地受到过诱惑，但是是依靠大脑行事 还是依靠身体行事很大程度上决定了事情的走向。我倒是很怀疑那些卫道士反倒可能是最先拜倒在石榴裙下的群体，因为他们把社会想得太简单，非黑即白。但是如 果你自己心里有清楚底线，知道自己在被情感控制（这里的情感指一时的莫名奇妙的自己不能控制的感觉，比如突然对某人很有好感），自己想任何方法让自己摆脱 这种情感，控制住了，回头想想是一种有益的经验；而如果没控制，回过头想的话恐怕只会像海藻那样，发出“属于我的眼睛，丢了”这样的感慨了。
对于我来说，就是我要珍惜我的小贝，我不需要宋，或李，或王，尽管他们很有钱，很有地位，很有权势，在某些方面可能暂时超过小贝，但是他们不是小贝。对于小贝来说，我希望他不要成为下一个宋，或李，或王。
我并没有说海藻或宋很坏，只是他们不合适而已，即便看似再compatible，如果不在合适的时间遇到（比如有稳定的家庭和关系，并没有很 大的问题），便是孽缘，所谓孽缘，就是那种一开始就是错的关系，所以早止早好，不要觉得感觉对啊这种事，感觉是最不靠谱的东西，说拉倒就拉倒。一段真正的 感情必然有感觉之外的关系所支撑和维系。
玩不起火就不要玩火，伤人伤己。我们的生活不需要那么波澜壮阔。
The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work November 13, 2009
Posted by aquarhine in Books.add a comment
128 In denying the natural place reserved for longing and error in the human lot, the bourgeois ideology denies us the possibility of collective consolation for our fractious marriages and our unexploited ambitions, and condemns us instead to solitary feelings of shame and persecution for having stubbornly failed to become who we are.
252 But perhaps hespeaks like this not so much because he wishes to keep secrets as because years of circumnavigating the arth, breathing conditioned air and headlining conferences, have hollowed out his personality.
254 The partners have learnt to adopt the serence and detached air of doctors or university professors.
Convergence Culture October 28, 2009
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This is the book that I’ve been reading for the past few days. The cultural issues are always the ones which are a little bit beyond me. Thus, while reading this book, I have to watch the Survivors (which I really like) and the American Idols (which is…well just so so in my opinion) first to figure out what they are like, so as to understand the grounds upon which the whole book is established. All in all, it is an interesting book with lots of case studies, intertwined with different aspects of cultural issues and media operations in the American society. It is one of the few books that are worth buying.
Critical thinking and confidence building are the two things that I find typical in American graduate schools, which are very different from my culture. Language is one thing, the culture is another thing, which may be a big hindrance to communications with others. But that’s supposed to be the significance of communications, isn’t it. If the world is just a piece of iron, what fun will that be? Diversity is a virtue.
